Let’s face it, we’re all busy and overextended, but making time for intimacy is one of the most important things we can do for our relationship. Not all women enjoy a quickie because typically there isn’t much foreplay involved and most women need a little more time than men to get turned on and to be in the mood for sex. Most of us don’t have any spare time to squeeze sex in, (that’s a blog post in and of itself) so we have to find ways of enjoy a shorter rendezvous to help keep the spark alive.
Here are a few tips to help you appreciate a “Quickie.”
1. Build up the anticipation all day long. Don’t just walk in the door and have “married” sex. Send flirtatious messages throughout the day. Wear your partner’s favorite perfume or cologne. Wear sexy underwear that day or some sort of undergarment that makes you feel sexy. Just because the sex is going to be fast doesn’t mean the build up to it has to be. Men love, and actually prefer, sexy messages throughout the day giving them a peek into what’s in store for them when they get home.
2. Set the mood by making your partner’s favorite meal or bringing home something that means a lot to them. Women aren’t the only ones who enjoy small gestures of thoughtfulness. Men actually prefer this to almost any other type of gift. A small gesture of thoughtfulness will get you plenty of points with both sexes. Do something that you know you’re partner would prefer, not something you wish they’d prefer.
3. Married sex typically consists of taking your clothes off while discussing the day’s events and ending up quickly in the missionary position. Have rules for the quickies that focus on a new position or a new place to have sex. Oftentimes the excitement of having sex somewhere new is enough of a turn on that you quickly forget you’re in the boring missionary position. Perhaps make a rule that quickie sex cannot take place in the bedroom. If you’re feeling adventurous, make a rule that it must take place outside your home. Try role playing or taking turns who gets to pick the position.
Here’s an exercise to try if you’re feeling particularly adventurous:
Tear off three pieces of paper for each person and write down three different things you’ve always wanted to try but were too afraid to ask your partner. Keep them concealed and only pull one out of a hat for the next six quickie sessions. You must agree to be open and try whatever your partner has listed. It helps to set boundaries before you try this. If there are deal breakers for either partner, discuss them before you start this exercise. Otherwise, have fun and be adventurous with this one!
4. Variety is the key to a happy sex life. Men crave variety and spontaneity in their sex lives, especially if they’re married and have children. They also desperately want to connect with the woman they love. Men do this through sex. It’s not about just the sex for them; it’s about the connection. So remember that if he’s bugging you for sex, he’s really trying to say that he’s longing to connect with you and he misses the closeness that only sex can offer (for him).
Keep it light. Keep it fun. And remember, it’s just a quickie. Even one bite of chocolate can taste just as delicious as the entire cake!